I am really crabby tonight. Not for any particular reason, and definitely not for any good reason. Just crabby.
And so I saw Mark Driscoll (or his assistant?) posted this link on facebook:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jv3TFg9SJb4
It's a video explaining the "hope of life" of atheists. Basically, he quotes an atheist as saying the foundation for life is "unyielding despair". From an atheist's point of view, there is no God, there is nothing after this life, there is no meaning to this life, there is nothing but nature and survival of the fittest. He goes on to say that that ideology is utterly depressing and that is why so many teenagers are cutters, why people commit suicide, why the highest selling group of drugs is anti-depressants.
But if the majority of Americans classify themselves as Christian in some way (right?) then who is buying all these anti-depressants? Is Driscoll implying that if we know the gospel we can't get depressed?
In theory, that's true, because we should rely on God and be satisfied in God, etc etc, but in reality, the first humans in the Bible failed miserably at that. What makes us better? What makes us more able to love God in such a whole way when we are surrounded by way more stuff than Adam and Eve were. They just had a snake. We've got explicit sex everywhere, ostentatious entertainment, endless material lures and so on and so on. Our world is just as broken as its always been and humans have been failing at being satisfied in God enough to let the glitz of this world go since the "always" of humanity began.
So yeah, even Christians end up in the hopeless clutches of depression. *shrug* It's not just an atheist thing.
But I digress...
Driscoll (or his assistant) captioned the video on facebook as, "A Video for Dawkins".
My reply was this:
I can kinda predict the response of the atheists I know though... "Of course the world is a darker place when you discover that Santa Claus isn't real, that your dad isn't perfect and that you really are all alone, but just because they're hard truths to accept doesn't make any of them any less true."
So how will that video bring atheists any closer to Jesus? I just don't see it.
Maybe it's my crabbiness or maybe I feel this way on a regular day, but it seems like Christians believe that hardcore atheists will just "click" one day and love Jesus. Like, they'll press play on this Driscoll video because some Bible-thumpy Christian acquaintance will trick them into thinking it's about Dawkins, and they'll endure the seven minutes of it and at the end, when the video carousel shows up, they'll be all looking up at the heavens crying, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry."
Yeah, that's not gonna happen. And if it does, if you know somebody to which that has happened, it's likely that deep down they believed anyway.
Why am I so cynical about this? Because as Driscoll points out, it IS a depressing doctrine. It is hopeless. Really. And when you adopt that hopelessness as your fundamental truth of the universe, the implications are that you are so cynical about God and religion that you cannot be moved by "inside" words or by "inside" thoughts. By inside, I mean stuff that stems from Christian religiosity- the terminology.
If you tell an atheist they are hopeless, what does that mean? That this life is meaningless and they'll die and that'll be it? Well... yeah... They know that already.
If you tell an atheist the only way they'll be saved is through our savior Jesus Christ, what does that mean to them? It means the only way to go through life with permanent rose-colored glasses on is if you adopt a delusion of being loved by an imaginary friend. It's meaningless.
In my experience, everything Christian is meaningless to an atheist except Jesus Himself. You can't preach hope or salvation or sanctification or hellfire. None of that means a thing. And if you preach repentance? Well, now you're just a self-righteous religious person that they've already encountered time and time again. It's not going to work.
But the soul things do work. The things we all feel. Like when a relationship ends. Up here, it's likely that that relationship involved sex. And so, talking about what God intends for sex in those moments, how sex is a way of bonding the souls of two people, in order to explain why it hurts so much when those souls rip apart, hits the soul a little bit. Why? Because it's true and because that particular kind of pain is really a soul pain rather than a superficial, every day life kind of pain. We feel it. We know it's something deeper than other hurts we experience. Why do we call it a broken heart? Why do we imply even trivially that we're shattered in our core? And from a Christian standpoint, that is one of the reasons why God wants us to wait. He doesn't want us to feel this soul-rippage. He wants to protect us from that.
Another thing that gets in is forgiveness. Active, open forgiveness. Letting go of grudges. Seeing past the brokenness and the hurt and loving them anyway. It's something that Jesus taught and it's something that goes completely against our basic human instincts. But in our hearts, we long for the ability to let go. We long for the ability to understand that love is more important than anything else. We long for it not because we do it but because we wish for others to embrace it towards us. We wish to be forgiven. We wished to be loved unconditionally and eternally.
Love. It gets in too. Active loving. Sacrifice and enduring profound friendship.
Being humble. Passing off the glory, letting go of selfishness, lifting those around you up- that gets in.
Justice does too. Fighting for those who need us to fight for them. Fighting for the basic needs and rights of individuals.
Caring.
Loving those who are hardest to love. Loving your enemy.
Honesty- being a prideful person takes any mission out of you. Be honest about who you are and what your stumblings are. Be honest about your failures. Be honest. You're not perfect. You're probably farther from perfect than the person you're evangelizing. Never forget that. You might think you're saved, but sanctification is a lifelong process.
And most of all, practicing more than preaching. What good is God's word coming out of your mouth if you don't know what it means? What good is it if you don't live it? What good is it if you don't know it well enough to explain it to somebody who isn't a Christian? What good is it if the only way you know how to explain it is in Bibley terms?
Teach it from the heart. Live it from the heart. And love with it. That is the hope we're trying to get people to understand and that, to me, is the only way to get an atheist's attention. Don't just say the words. If Jesus is in your heart, show them your heart.
Otherwise, it's all just hopeless.
And not to let the atheists off the hook here (even though if there are any reading this post, they'd probably have quit by now, right?), in my comment on Driscoll's wall, I mentioned Santa, imperfect dads and being utterly alone. And when I didn't know God, I did seem to base my ideology on the worst case scenario.
The world is a hard place. Survival of the fittest is brutal. The only person who will ever truly look out for you is you. When you look at ideas like those, which are sort of true really, it makes sense that we're only here by chance and that there's no deeper underlying meaning to all this.
But why do we choose those things on which to base our philosophies?
Why not look at opposite things?
Survival of the fittest might be brutal and unforgiving, but look at what it has produced. Look at the awesomeness of survival. Look at the miraculous adaptations creatures around us have developed to edge out the competition, to protect themselves and even to procreate. It's incredible and so precise.
The only person who will ever truly look out for you is you, but you know those rare times when a friend completely blows you away with kindness? They just show up out of nowhere and just leave you in awe. They might not have even appeared to care about you and then suddenly, there they were, helping you up when nobody else even knew you were down or nobody else knew how you needed to be picked up. It brings tears to your eyes to remember it.
The world is such a hard place- natural disasters, suffering, brokenness, poverty, loneliness... But what about beauty? What about love? Why do we have these powerful things to give us a glimmer of hope? Why do we keep going? Something here has to be worth it. The world is a hard place, but somehow, we were born with an attachment to it anyway.
And that dad who isn't perfect? It took you how many years to figure that out? Is there anybody in your life who has sustained perfection as long as that?
My dad kills bees with his bare thumb. Just his thumb. That's just crazy. But that's why he's my dad: it's not because he does these things to protect me and to make my world less scary, it's because I look to him for that. I want him to be that. I want him to play that role in my life. But like all dads, he eventually failed. I started to see his humanity and his mistakes. But when he's here at my house and he kills a bee with his thumb, that feeling in me is revived, even if only for a brief moment. That's God. That feeling.
Let me explain... There are these things we feel innately that there is no reason we should feel if our existence was merely based on survival of the fittest. There's no reason these things help us survive. Like this desire to feel protected. If we're the only ones who can protect ourselves, how does this innate craving of reliance help us survive? And love? If it was just about procreation, we wouldn't fall in love. We'd mate and move on. And beauty? Doesn't it distract us and make us vulnerable to predation or injury? And the example I mentioned above about the hurt we experience in a break up. Lying fetal on your sofa in your pajamas for months because somebody decided they didn't love you is definitely counterproductive to our survival. And yet, we feel it. We feel our soul torn apart. And if there is no God and no eternity, what benefit does it serve to be aware of our soul at all?
There are these things, these heart things, that deep down, no matter how much we stifle them, just don't fit. And as an agnostic, I was fine not knowing the answers. But then stuff started to make sense. And if there's anything a rational person craves, it's to make sense of stuff.
So make sense of it. Or at least try. *shrug*
Monday, November 16, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Religulous: a play by play...
Alright, so I'm watching Religulous. Being that my tv screen is my computer screen, I won't see what I type as I watch this movie... Unless it sucks, then we'll resort to the picture in picture dealy. Yey technology!
Ok, here we go.
FYI, lotsa spoilers. I go through the whole movie as I watched it. Ok? Ok.
And DISCLAIMER: the opinions expressed in this here blog are mine and only mine. If anybody should have a problem with the quotes and or content in this blog post from a copyright/legal standpoint, feel free to let me know. I have no ads on my blog and I have, like, three readers, so this isn't being massively distributed or anything. It's just for fun. I've tried to get the quotes right wherever there are quotes and where there aren't quotes, assume paraphrasing. No animals were harmed in the typing of this blog post.
*presses play*
Is it wrong that I'm already looking at all these producers and sponsors and wondering if I should ever support them again? Yeah, unbiased, my ass. Sorry already.
He starts out about self-fulfilling prophesy and the end of the world as described by religion. And you know the first thing to come to mind is always nuclear weapons, but they won't destroy the world. They'll destroy the cities and human infrastructures, maybe. They might kill the animals and destroy life on earth. But we humans don't yet have the ability to actually destroy the world itself. Just sayin'.
He says religion is too easy because it tells you what happens when you die, which would otherwise be something we'd absolutely freak out about. I've already blogged about that. Being agnostic for 28 years, I never was worried about death or where I'd go when I died. Even now, I don't worry about death itself. So my seeking God had nothing to do with that, really, and if anything, believing in heaven and hell is a lot scarier than believing it just ends.
He set out to make this "documentary" to "understand" why people who are otherwise rational can believe on Sunday that they're drinking the blood of a 2000 year old God. (The quotes are mine, not his. I'm not sure he set out to understand, nor set out to make an attempt at an unbiased documentary... if that's at all possible. If he did set out to do both, at some point in the "documentary" he would have explained that the blood was symbolic. It's not real blood. Nobody's that moronic. We all know what blood tastes like...)
I used to really like Bill Maher when he had his political late night show back in the 90s. I thought he was smart, really good at arguing and had a lot of knowledge. Somewhere between there and now, he decided that his knowledge was God. Of course, that's my opinion and it is probably wrong. But like Tim Keller says, sometimes, when people are successful in one endeavor of their life, they let that sort of arrogance of accomplishment permeate throughout the rest of their life, making them feel successful and all-knowing in all aspects, not just the one. Bill Maher, having mastered the art of negotiation and rationalization, seems to believe he can rationalize away God. But you know, from the perspective of somebody who had done that as far back as I can remember, rationalizing something away doesn't make it stop existing, nor does it actually constitute exploration of it. To go into learning when you already know all the answers sets you up for failure in learning and success in maintaining your current point of view.
But I digress...
He gives us a little history. He grew up in a churchy family, but his mom didn't go to church (she was Jewish, dad was Catholic).
Religion wasn't relevant to his life.
Superman was and baseball was. (Gives you an idea of the gospel message vs religious message effect...)
Quit church at 13.
Mom says it was because of the church's opinion on birth control.
Maher: What do we believe?
his mom: I don't know the answer.
Maher: That's my answer.
So he's agnostic.
Virgin birth story came only from two gospels and the bible was written by men. That's a reason to doubt its truth. The way I've learned it, the gospels do differ, they were written at different times by different points of view and they don't cover identical aspects of Jesus' life. The fact that they are flawed because they were written by men though clashes with the idea that God guided the men in their writing. In a way, I believe God did guide them because the writing is way too complex (imo) to have been written by people of their education level. Then again, they might have had ghost writers- who knows? Either way, the fact that some details aren't in one gospel or another, to me, is not a reason the entire gospel is debunked.
"Why is faith good?" he asks. It's not about it being good. We all do have faith in something. We do. It's undeniable simply because we don't have the answers to everything and not only that, but the things to which we feel we do know the answers to rely on faith a lot too. We trust the information that is given to us is true. We have faith that gravity will be the same tomorrow as it is today. Why would it be? Because it's a constant? Why is it a constant? Because it relies on other constants? Everything is just so and our survival depends on it staying that way. We wake up every morning with faith that the sun will not burn out, with faith that we have enough knowledge about the consistency of the sun that we can predict when it will burn out. Right? We do have faith. In a lot of things. We just don't realize it apart from religion.
"If you're being good just to save your ass..." he says to the room full of churchy men. If that's the only reason they're doing it, you're right- that's religion, not the gospel.
He says he's promoting doubt. The other guys are promoting certainty. He's a proponent of agnosticism. A preacher of agnosticism, if you will...
But does doubt include doubting your doubts? Or is it just limited by the first level of doubt?
Being without faith is a luxury, he says. How can smart people believe? If we were in trouble, we'd have to rely on faith, but because he in particular is not, he has the luxury of being faithless. Luxury. Interesting phrasing.
"Thank you for being Christ-like and not just Christian," he says to the church folk in that tiny church. What he means, I'll infer, is "thank you for being gospel-centered and Jesus-centered rather than religious." Instead, he says something like, "thank you for being like Christ and not a follower of his teachings." It just goes to show how tarnished the "Christian" title is. So, so tarnished. And yet, Jesus... isn't.
Corruption in the church- obviously, there is disgusting corruption in multiple disgusting ways. All I have to say about that is when you create an environment of trust, somebody will always be in line to take advantage. Always.
"What does it say about religion when you can be a minister at ten [years old]?"
In theory, the Bible says little kids can be saved, and being that they can know the gospel, they probably could share it. But kids are not leaders. They need leadership. They need fierce guidance. What does it say about religion? Honestly, whoever ordained that kid needs a headcheck. That really is religion in the worst sense of the word, imo.
"I think I could find more morality in the Rick James Bible."
Yes, the Bible's got some bad people in it and some pretty gory and twisted stories. But Mr Bill Maher (you're not a doctor either, are you? Just checkin'. I don't want to be disrespectful...), Christianity is following Jesus. Try that first. Live by the "red letters" and see how that goes for you. Just for fun. And then once you nail those, explore the rest.
And now we're onto the gay thing.
No, the Bible doesn't say there's no gay gene. *shakes head*
"reformed" gay guy: They're people who are really not complete in who they are as men or women.
Bill Maher: That's quite a judgment as a Christian.
rgg: It's not a judgment.
Well, yes, it is, and it's not a judgment just as a Christian, but as a busted up, broken human being. Black kettles and pots and such.
Ch 4:
What the hey are they laughing about? I dunno. Inside joke? On both sides? Dunno.
Ch 5:
When he got broken up with as a teenager or something, he sought out some sort of "imaginary" friend out of desperation. He considers that seeking God, I guess.
One old guy tells lame-ass stories about his version of miracles (it rained?) that were answers his prayers-- the thing is, God shows you Himself in a way where you will see Him if you ask to see Him. If I tell you my stories of how I saw God or what I saw God through, you'd find them lame also. They are lame. But they touched me, just like how my favorite movies touched me and are ridiculous to other people. Like the movie "17 Again". I consider myself smart, and I can in no way rationalize why I adore that movie the way I do. It's a ridiculous and predictable movie, but somehow, the feeling it gives me changes me and brings back a childish idealism into my life right now. Other people who've watched it get a twinge of something nearly insignificant, but it moves me. It makes no sense, but then that's what emotions are- they're provoked, they're evoked, they're spontaneous reactions. Relationship with God is a personal thing. Nobody can tell you how to do it, what to expect from it or how God will show up in your life. It's something you have to explore on your own and if God decides to open your heart, you'll probably find Him through something lame and cheesy that nobody else understands but that moves you tremendously and profoundly. It's just how it goes.
But yeah, that old guy was a bit of a doof. I'll give Bill Maher that. Even though he probably wouldn't have made it into the documentary had he not been a doof.
If after death, we go to a better place, why don't we just kill ourselves? he asks.
Aside from the fact that that's kind of "playing God" and that it is totally not Christian because it brings suffering to those we love meaninglessly, because it goes against Jesus' message of preaching the gospel to the world and because it's a completely selfish act... Um... What was the question?
Now, we're onto God and state.
Personally, I am of the opinion that when Jesus said give to Caesar what is his, he separated church and state. He didn't come in to radically change the government as everybody had expected. He came to radically change hearts and those hearts in turn change the world. Not with hate, but with love. So chances are, I'll probably agree with Bill Maher on this section of the movie...
"That is not a message I can ever see that Jesus in the Bible, even when he was in a bad mood, would say."
Exactly, Bill Maher! What Jesus says and intends and what "Christians" do are not the same message. They should be, but they aren't. By looking to Christians to decide whether Jesus is worthwhile, you're looking at a busted up review of an image of Jesus through their warped eyes and twisted perspective. Not a good way to learn something important, I'd say.
16% of the population has no religious affiliation and compared to other minority groups which are smaller in size, get nothing.
What are they supposed to get? As an agnostic, I never expected anything. I didn't care. Call it Christmas, call it Hanukkah, whatever you want to call it, go for it. Part of my responsibility in maintaining my own religious freedom is to grant others theirs.
How about we take mother's day instead since that's a touchy subject for me? Every commercial on tv around mother's day implies that everybody has a mom who loves them dearly. It's a load of crap and it makes me want to throw things at my tv. *shrug* I get offended by the implication that everybody has a mom who loves them dearly. But so what? Some people have a mom, some people don't. It's just not my holiday. Same with single people on Valentine's day. In my case and in the Valentine's case, it draws attention to something we're lacking. When I was agnostic, I wasn't lacking anything. Maybe that's why I was ok with Christmas, Easter, Hanukkah and Passover. Forgive me if I don't know the words for holidays outside Christianity and Judaism. They're what I grew up with. "Festivus for the rest of us." hehe.
What about the ten commandments? First four are about God and his jealousy.
Don't include child abuse, torture, rape.
We're in a different culture.
[All that isn't in quotes because I'm not sure what the direct quotes were and I'm not going back again. :D]
So basically he's saying the Bible is outdated and the commandments don't cover the real baddies. Technically, I'd say a lot of it is covered by adultery, idolatry and um, murder, but the rest is covered in the NT pretty clearly by the love thy neighbor commandment and the whole "love one another as I have loved you" part... But yeah, point taken.
Then they argue that even without religion, we'd just know that killing is wrong. We don't need religion to tell us that. (I think that was with the senator?)
Actually, in Tim Keller's "The Reason For God", he argues just that- that our sense of justice stems from us being image bearers of God, that we are set apart from animals simply because we do have that innate quality that comes from such a close tie to God, who is just. That idea, as I've blogged about before, goes against the whole survival of the fittest idea of evolution because in protecting the weakest and helping them to survive while potentially putting us at risk is not beneficial to our own survival and yet, we do it because we have this yearning for justice.
He goes on to talk about how the US is the most religious of the industrialized modern nations. (Ch 6 on this DVD.)
"A recent study found that among 32 countries more people in this country doubted evolution than any other country on that list, except I think it was Turkey."
How come Canada wasn't on that list? I paused it twice and couldn't find it. And not to beat a dead horse, but believing in evolution is having faith in evolution and faith that the scientists behind the evidence were truthful and didn't hide anything or alter anything. It's believing in something you didn't and probably can't prove for yourself. Most of us don't have explicit proof of evolution from beginning to end in our own hands. Evolution is still considered a theory. It feels right, yes, and the evidence points to it being right but in the end, it feels right nonetheless.
Anyhoo...
Random Bible-thumpy museum guy basically says the scientists that are saying that evolution happened are sinners going against God's word or whatever and Bill Maher answers, "All these scientists are sinners?" and the guy shrugs and is out of answers. So lame. Probably trick editing, but even if it wasn't, yes, they're sinners. This museum dude is a sinner. You're a sinner. I'm a sinner. The point is we're all sinners. But that's not why the scientists believe in evolution. Facts are facts, right? :D
Ok, so then he has Father George Coyne, PhD from the Vatican Observatory in a full priesty wardrobe talking about how the Bible and modern science occurred in two different eras of history. The Bible contains no science, he says. It's probably the smartest thing so far. He just forgot to say that that doesn't imply the two can't coexist. And that little timeline they put at the bottom of the screen is off a little too. Aristotle, Plato and a few other BC scientists and philosophers did sort through some scientific things in Biblical times. And in my opinion, the Bible does have more science in it than we give it credit for. It's not a science manual, but within texts, there are some things that are scientifically true, information they may or may not have access to at the time of those writings (I haven't researched enough to know specifically other than the bone marrow issue I had with Job a while back).
But of course, he has to intertwine the logical explanations of Father Coyne with the completely illogical ramblings of that guy with the museum where displays mix the humans with dinosaurs. Obviously.
"That's really the Vatican," he says, standing in front of it. "I ought to know. I just got thrown out of it. [..] Apparently, I've been on the Catholic shitlist for a while."
Aren't we all? hehehehe.
hehe...
"Does that look anything like anything Jesus Christ had in mind?" (still about the Vatican)
He talks to Father Reginald Foster, Senior Vatican Priest, and he agrees that the Vatican doesn't match Jesus' message at all. He's obviously not a religious priest, pointing out how Italians were surveyed about who they pray to when they have problems and Jesus was number six on the list. "Talk about your cafeteria Catholics," he says. Who knows what he really believes, but he did engage Bill Maher, which is more than any other representative so far (aside from Father Coyne, I guess).
Eek! Ben Folds! Oh, bad memory music. Why, Bill, why?! Yeah, so it's fitting, but still! Bad memories. Kind of funny that the Ben Folds song Jesusland reminds me of a time when I got trampled by a nominal, evil "Christian". Go figure.
Time for the Jesus funland part or whatever that theme park is. I don't know how people can dress up as Jesus and be ok with that. I'd be so afraid of my every move.
Why doesn't God obliterate the Devil and evil? Maher asks the fake Jesus.
Good question. Christians like to make up a lot of answers for that one. I haven't really liked any of them enough to stick with me so far (the answers, I mean, not the Christians who make them up).
Bill: What was the Holocaust? Why was that good?
Jesus actor: God has a plan for that. Maybe it's to-
Bill: I wonder if you'd feel that way if you were one of the people being pushed into an oven.
JA: It's like explaining to an ant how a tv works. God's ways are so much higher than ours.
If God is good and the Holocaust was obviously inexplicably, disgustingly evil, why would we assume that that's God's work? What if we do have responsibility for ourselves and our actions in this world? What if our evil, our selfishness, our greed and so on and so on are not Godly? What if our wars that we wage against ourselves, whether we claim them to be in God's name or not, are our wars and only our wars? What if, like a kid who has to learn things the hard way, we learn things the hard way on a proportionately massive scale of brutality? Evil done in the name of God is still evil and if God is not evil, it (evil) is not God, it's not about God and it's not for God.
Maher totally makes fun of the Jesus actor guy for relating the Trinity to water, as in water can have three forms- water, ice and steam. I think that bit got to him a little. You can see it in his face as the pretend Jesus is explaining it. It's kinda funny. He's so awkward and obviously blown away by the explanation. So of course, he has to totally bash it in the car afterward. :D He did say it was brilliant though right before bashing it, you know, to keep himself seemingly humble. It was fun to see the actor Jesus say something so worthwhile that didn't get edited out though. I wonder why it didn't.
We're then presented with the story of Horus from the Book of the Dead written in 1280BC, whose life is identical to Jesus', right down to the resurrection on the third day. Of course, I didn't know that story (hey, newbie... I'm still learning here...) so I looked it up and found this bright yellow thingy. Dunno if it's accurate or not, but it does have a link at the bottom to the Book of the Dead. But I'll read it more later. This movie is taking way longer to watch than I intended. :D
Yeah, so the tourist people taking pics of the bloody Jesus is a little weird.
Cut to crazy folks, including dressed up scientologist, Bill Maher. :D
Now onto Mormons. Um... No comment on that. Hoooo.
Gotta get me some of them protective undies... Um.
Neurotheologist guy Dr Newberg says when we pray, meditate or speak in tongues (wtf), there are specific changes that occur in the brain. And then they show a crazy lady and that farting preacher (youtube) guy (who, I'm sorry, needs a fierce beating).
Rabbi guy who is anti-Zion totally takes over the conversation. Very pushy. Maher leaves. I wonder if he'll interview a real, normal Jew later [not really].
Rabbi Strauss explains Sabbath.
Bill: It does seem that you are, to a degree, trying to outsmart God.
Rabbi: If the lawmaker never makes a mistake and still there's a loophole there, why is that loophole there? To be used in a situation of need.
subtitle: Because the people who wrote the Bible fucked up?
hehe, that's so not Christian as far as I know. :D Not the swearing, I mean how squeezing through loopholes is a heart issue if I ever heard one. :D
Back to the neurotheologist to say anybody who has heard the voice of God is crazy- if people who hear voices are crazy.
Oh, no, bring on the crazy evangelists... I hope Matt Chandler doesn't watch this part. Chapter 12 on the DVD. Don't watch it, Chandler!
The guy says he's Jesus. And doesn't believe in hell or sin. Oh, dear. That guy's gonna get some wrath... Look out!
Maher asks why God, all-powerful God, chooses one person to convey His message rather than just telling everybody. Dunno. Good question. Probably because of the whole seeking thing. Kinda like how when a good-looking person adores you suddenly, you question their sanity. We like the hunt. We like to believe we're in control and act independently.
He goes on to say he wasn't born skeptical and that he used to make deals with God all the time and was glad he had "God" in his life. (His finger quotes not mine.) Um. Is that belief in God? Or is that wishful thinking? "If you give me this, I'll believe in you." It's our way of controlling God and surprisingly, it doesn't work. Go figure.
Reverend Ferre van Beveren of the cannibis ministry says his ministry is not based on weed but uses weed to open up the spirit or something?
Onto a filmmaker who was assassinated for making a film which was considered offensive by Muslims. And a rapper-type guy who seems to be a bit of a know-it-all which clashes, obviously, with know-it-all Bill Maher...
Then Geert Wilders, Dutch parliament member, discusses Muslims... Um. Scary dude. You know those guys who think they're right, but are really bigots? That.
And then onto the two gay Muslim guys, who Bill makes awkward and uncomfortable in about thirty seconds (he brings up anal, like, right away).
Back to the weed guy for a joke...
Not sure what the fast jumping around is about. I guess his beef is more with Christianity and free speech than Islam? He can't seem to focus in this slicey part of the movie.
Now he's wearing a white hat in a mosque in Amsterdam, asking about the violence in Islam.
Back to the weed guy for more laughs.
And then onto the mosque built on top of Solomon's temple (I think?) where Jews are forbidden entry. That part was actually interesting. A little history and culture clashing that I didn't know about.
He makes an analogy relating religion to how the English maintain a sort of crop circle of a naked dude on a hill even though they don't know what it means and then jumps back to Christians talking about the end of the world. He believes that religion's prophesies about the end of the world might ultimately cause the end of the world.
His ending thoughts:
"Religion must die in order for people to live."
"Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith and enable and elevate it are our intellectual slaveholders keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction. Religion is dangerous because it allows humans who don't have all the answers to think that they do.
[...]
The only appropriate attitude for man to have about the big questions is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion but doubt. Doubt is humble and that's what man needs to be considering that human history is a litany of getting shit dead wrong.
[...]
This is why rationalist people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves."
Ok. First, Bill Maher has to read Tim Keller's writings on faith, because imo, he's asking us to have faith in doubt instead of religion. Faith is faith. Faith answers our questions about the unknown, he says, which is what makes it easy. But saying, "I'm ok with not knowing the answers," is an equally faith-based assertion that also is a conclusion about the unknown. It may not seem that way, but as an agnostic, I felt far, far more certain about the world than I do now as a Christian. Things were more certain because I made them so. I was far more in control of my life, my destiny and everything else could be explained away by nature's chaos, by life being unfair, or by life itself.
When you're agnostic, people get cancer because that's just how life is. Our DNA messes up somehow, either because of our lifestyle, chemical exposure, radiation exposure, etc, and we grow tumors instead of "natural" human flesh. As an agnostic, I did not believe that we grew tumors to show us something about ourselves, about the world, about faith and about love. Tumors were just glitches in biological processes. Nothing more.
As an agnostic, the world was here for my viewing pleasure. Mountains towering above me, the ocean crashing at my feet, the stars flickering all around me- all of it was just kind of accidental and beautiful. It was nature. It was part of this chaotic universe we live in. Chaotic in spite of its necessary constants all lining up to allow life to form. It wasn't meant to stir up a feeling of eternity in my soul. It wasn't meant to ignite a passion and deep desire for the eternal and infinite. It wasn't meant to point out the place deep inside me where the innate sense of purpose and meaning lay trapped in a shroud of cynicism and independence.
Agnosticism, as I've said before in the blog, was far, far easier than Christianity.
And I think Bill Maher's little eternal place deep in his soul knows that. While he mocked the virgin birth, how His teen years weren't recorded and maybe a little of the walking on water, he didn't mock Jesus' teachings. If anything, he mocked religions abuse and lack of Christianity. He put down Christianity often for not following Jesus, but he never, as far as I saw, took a jab at Jesus Himself. It makes me wonder what would happen if Bill Maher sat down with a gospel-centered, anti-religion Christian, like, say, Matt Chandler or Tim Keller or Tyler Jones. It makes me wonder if he, like me, was exposed to the "Just Jesus" type of faith, what would happen?
Jesus has a radical way of moving through people's lives no matter how atheist or agnostic they are. As Tyler Jones used to say, Jesus is other. He's different in ways you can't even describe. And somehow, I really think that deep down, Bill Maher knows that, but isn't brave enough to explore it. Imagine if he found Jesus at this point?
He'd be, like, the next Paul. It'd totally ruin his life...
(For the better...)
Ok, here we go.
FYI, lotsa spoilers. I go through the whole movie as I watched it. Ok? Ok.
And DISCLAIMER: the opinions expressed in this here blog are mine and only mine. If anybody should have a problem with the quotes and or content in this blog post from a copyright/legal standpoint, feel free to let me know. I have no ads on my blog and I have, like, three readers, so this isn't being massively distributed or anything. It's just for fun. I've tried to get the quotes right wherever there are quotes and where there aren't quotes, assume paraphrasing. No animals were harmed in the typing of this blog post.
*presses play*
Is it wrong that I'm already looking at all these producers and sponsors and wondering if I should ever support them again? Yeah, unbiased, my ass. Sorry already.
He starts out about self-fulfilling prophesy and the end of the world as described by religion. And you know the first thing to come to mind is always nuclear weapons, but they won't destroy the world. They'll destroy the cities and human infrastructures, maybe. They might kill the animals and destroy life on earth. But we humans don't yet have the ability to actually destroy the world itself. Just sayin'.
He says religion is too easy because it tells you what happens when you die, which would otherwise be something we'd absolutely freak out about. I've already blogged about that. Being agnostic for 28 years, I never was worried about death or where I'd go when I died. Even now, I don't worry about death itself. So my seeking God had nothing to do with that, really, and if anything, believing in heaven and hell is a lot scarier than believing it just ends.
He set out to make this "documentary" to "understand" why people who are otherwise rational can believe on Sunday that they're drinking the blood of a 2000 year old God. (The quotes are mine, not his. I'm not sure he set out to understand, nor set out to make an attempt at an unbiased documentary... if that's at all possible. If he did set out to do both, at some point in the "documentary" he would have explained that the blood was symbolic. It's not real blood. Nobody's that moronic. We all know what blood tastes like...)
I used to really like Bill Maher when he had his political late night show back in the 90s. I thought he was smart, really good at arguing and had a lot of knowledge. Somewhere between there and now, he decided that his knowledge was God. Of course, that's my opinion and it is probably wrong. But like Tim Keller says, sometimes, when people are successful in one endeavor of their life, they let that sort of arrogance of accomplishment permeate throughout the rest of their life, making them feel successful and all-knowing in all aspects, not just the one. Bill Maher, having mastered the art of negotiation and rationalization, seems to believe he can rationalize away God. But you know, from the perspective of somebody who had done that as far back as I can remember, rationalizing something away doesn't make it stop existing, nor does it actually constitute exploration of it. To go into learning when you already know all the answers sets you up for failure in learning and success in maintaining your current point of view.
But I digress...
He gives us a little history. He grew up in a churchy family, but his mom didn't go to church (she was Jewish, dad was Catholic).
Religion wasn't relevant to his life.
Superman was and baseball was. (Gives you an idea of the gospel message vs religious message effect...)
Quit church at 13.
Mom says it was because of the church's opinion on birth control.
Maher: What do we believe?
his mom: I don't know the answer.
Maher: That's my answer.
So he's agnostic.
Virgin birth story came only from two gospels and the bible was written by men. That's a reason to doubt its truth. The way I've learned it, the gospels do differ, they were written at different times by different points of view and they don't cover identical aspects of Jesus' life. The fact that they are flawed because they were written by men though clashes with the idea that God guided the men in their writing. In a way, I believe God did guide them because the writing is way too complex (imo) to have been written by people of their education level. Then again, they might have had ghost writers- who knows? Either way, the fact that some details aren't in one gospel or another, to me, is not a reason the entire gospel is debunked.
"Why is faith good?" he asks. It's not about it being good. We all do have faith in something. We do. It's undeniable simply because we don't have the answers to everything and not only that, but the things to which we feel we do know the answers to rely on faith a lot too. We trust the information that is given to us is true. We have faith that gravity will be the same tomorrow as it is today. Why would it be? Because it's a constant? Why is it a constant? Because it relies on other constants? Everything is just so and our survival depends on it staying that way. We wake up every morning with faith that the sun will not burn out, with faith that we have enough knowledge about the consistency of the sun that we can predict when it will burn out. Right? We do have faith. In a lot of things. We just don't realize it apart from religion.
"If you're being good just to save your ass..." he says to the room full of churchy men. If that's the only reason they're doing it, you're right- that's religion, not the gospel.
He says he's promoting doubt. The other guys are promoting certainty. He's a proponent of agnosticism. A preacher of agnosticism, if you will...
But does doubt include doubting your doubts? Or is it just limited by the first level of doubt?
Being without faith is a luxury, he says. How can smart people believe? If we were in trouble, we'd have to rely on faith, but because he in particular is not, he has the luxury of being faithless. Luxury. Interesting phrasing.
"Thank you for being Christ-like and not just Christian," he says to the church folk in that tiny church. What he means, I'll infer, is "thank you for being gospel-centered and Jesus-centered rather than religious." Instead, he says something like, "thank you for being like Christ and not a follower of his teachings." It just goes to show how tarnished the "Christian" title is. So, so tarnished. And yet, Jesus... isn't.
Corruption in the church- obviously, there is disgusting corruption in multiple disgusting ways. All I have to say about that is when you create an environment of trust, somebody will always be in line to take advantage. Always.
"What does it say about religion when you can be a minister at ten [years old]?"
In theory, the Bible says little kids can be saved, and being that they can know the gospel, they probably could share it. But kids are not leaders. They need leadership. They need fierce guidance. What does it say about religion? Honestly, whoever ordained that kid needs a headcheck. That really is religion in the worst sense of the word, imo.
"I think I could find more morality in the Rick James Bible."
Yes, the Bible's got some bad people in it and some pretty gory and twisted stories. But Mr Bill Maher (you're not a doctor either, are you? Just checkin'. I don't want to be disrespectful...), Christianity is following Jesus. Try that first. Live by the "red letters" and see how that goes for you. Just for fun. And then once you nail those, explore the rest.
And now we're onto the gay thing.
No, the Bible doesn't say there's no gay gene. *shakes head*
"reformed" gay guy: They're people who are really not complete in who they are as men or women.
Bill Maher: That's quite a judgment as a Christian.
rgg: It's not a judgment.
Well, yes, it is, and it's not a judgment just as a Christian, but as a busted up, broken human being. Black kettles and pots and such.
Ch 4:
What the hey are they laughing about? I dunno. Inside joke? On both sides? Dunno.
Ch 5:
When he got broken up with as a teenager or something, he sought out some sort of "imaginary" friend out of desperation. He considers that seeking God, I guess.
One old guy tells lame-ass stories about his version of miracles (it rained?) that were answers his prayers-- the thing is, God shows you Himself in a way where you will see Him if you ask to see Him. If I tell you my stories of how I saw God or what I saw God through, you'd find them lame also. They are lame. But they touched me, just like how my favorite movies touched me and are ridiculous to other people. Like the movie "17 Again". I consider myself smart, and I can in no way rationalize why I adore that movie the way I do. It's a ridiculous and predictable movie, but somehow, the feeling it gives me changes me and brings back a childish idealism into my life right now. Other people who've watched it get a twinge of something nearly insignificant, but it moves me. It makes no sense, but then that's what emotions are- they're provoked, they're evoked, they're spontaneous reactions. Relationship with God is a personal thing. Nobody can tell you how to do it, what to expect from it or how God will show up in your life. It's something you have to explore on your own and if God decides to open your heart, you'll probably find Him through something lame and cheesy that nobody else understands but that moves you tremendously and profoundly. It's just how it goes.
But yeah, that old guy was a bit of a doof. I'll give Bill Maher that. Even though he probably wouldn't have made it into the documentary had he not been a doof.
If after death, we go to a better place, why don't we just kill ourselves? he asks.
Aside from the fact that that's kind of "playing God" and that it is totally not Christian because it brings suffering to those we love meaninglessly, because it goes against Jesus' message of preaching the gospel to the world and because it's a completely selfish act... Um... What was the question?
Now, we're onto God and state.
Personally, I am of the opinion that when Jesus said give to Caesar what is his, he separated church and state. He didn't come in to radically change the government as everybody had expected. He came to radically change hearts and those hearts in turn change the world. Not with hate, but with love. So chances are, I'll probably agree with Bill Maher on this section of the movie...
"That is not a message I can ever see that Jesus in the Bible, even when he was in a bad mood, would say."
Exactly, Bill Maher! What Jesus says and intends and what "Christians" do are not the same message. They should be, but they aren't. By looking to Christians to decide whether Jesus is worthwhile, you're looking at a busted up review of an image of Jesus through their warped eyes and twisted perspective. Not a good way to learn something important, I'd say.
16% of the population has no religious affiliation and compared to other minority groups which are smaller in size, get nothing.
What are they supposed to get? As an agnostic, I never expected anything. I didn't care. Call it Christmas, call it Hanukkah, whatever you want to call it, go for it. Part of my responsibility in maintaining my own religious freedom is to grant others theirs.
How about we take mother's day instead since that's a touchy subject for me? Every commercial on tv around mother's day implies that everybody has a mom who loves them dearly. It's a load of crap and it makes me want to throw things at my tv. *shrug* I get offended by the implication that everybody has a mom who loves them dearly. But so what? Some people have a mom, some people don't. It's just not my holiday. Same with single people on Valentine's day. In my case and in the Valentine's case, it draws attention to something we're lacking. When I was agnostic, I wasn't lacking anything. Maybe that's why I was ok with Christmas, Easter, Hanukkah and Passover. Forgive me if I don't know the words for holidays outside Christianity and Judaism. They're what I grew up with. "Festivus for the rest of us." hehe.
What about the ten commandments? First four are about God and his jealousy.
Don't include child abuse, torture, rape.
We're in a different culture.
[All that isn't in quotes because I'm not sure what the direct quotes were and I'm not going back again. :D]
So basically he's saying the Bible is outdated and the commandments don't cover the real baddies. Technically, I'd say a lot of it is covered by adultery, idolatry and um, murder, but the rest is covered in the NT pretty clearly by the love thy neighbor commandment and the whole "love one another as I have loved you" part... But yeah, point taken.
Then they argue that even without religion, we'd just know that killing is wrong. We don't need religion to tell us that. (I think that was with the senator?)
Actually, in Tim Keller's "The Reason For God", he argues just that- that our sense of justice stems from us being image bearers of God, that we are set apart from animals simply because we do have that innate quality that comes from such a close tie to God, who is just. That idea, as I've blogged about before, goes against the whole survival of the fittest idea of evolution because in protecting the weakest and helping them to survive while potentially putting us at risk is not beneficial to our own survival and yet, we do it because we have this yearning for justice.
He goes on to talk about how the US is the most religious of the industrialized modern nations. (Ch 6 on this DVD.)
"A recent study found that among 32 countries more people in this country doubted evolution than any other country on that list, except I think it was Turkey."
How come Canada wasn't on that list? I paused it twice and couldn't find it. And not to beat a dead horse, but believing in evolution is having faith in evolution and faith that the scientists behind the evidence were truthful and didn't hide anything or alter anything. It's believing in something you didn't and probably can't prove for yourself. Most of us don't have explicit proof of evolution from beginning to end in our own hands. Evolution is still considered a theory. It feels right, yes, and the evidence points to it being right but in the end, it feels right nonetheless.
Anyhoo...
Random Bible-thumpy museum guy basically says the scientists that are saying that evolution happened are sinners going against God's word or whatever and Bill Maher answers, "All these scientists are sinners?" and the guy shrugs and is out of answers. So lame. Probably trick editing, but even if it wasn't, yes, they're sinners. This museum dude is a sinner. You're a sinner. I'm a sinner. The point is we're all sinners. But that's not why the scientists believe in evolution. Facts are facts, right? :D
Ok, so then he has Father George Coyne, PhD from the Vatican Observatory in a full priesty wardrobe talking about how the Bible and modern science occurred in two different eras of history. The Bible contains no science, he says. It's probably the smartest thing so far. He just forgot to say that that doesn't imply the two can't coexist. And that little timeline they put at the bottom of the screen is off a little too. Aristotle, Plato and a few other BC scientists and philosophers did sort through some scientific things in Biblical times. And in my opinion, the Bible does have more science in it than we give it credit for. It's not a science manual, but within texts, there are some things that are scientifically true, information they may or may not have access to at the time of those writings (I haven't researched enough to know specifically other than the bone marrow issue I had with Job a while back).
But of course, he has to intertwine the logical explanations of Father Coyne with the completely illogical ramblings of that guy with the museum where displays mix the humans with dinosaurs. Obviously.
"That's really the Vatican," he says, standing in front of it. "I ought to know. I just got thrown out of it. [..] Apparently, I've been on the Catholic shitlist for a while."
Aren't we all? hehehehe.
hehe...
"Does that look anything like anything Jesus Christ had in mind?" (still about the Vatican)
He talks to Father Reginald Foster, Senior Vatican Priest, and he agrees that the Vatican doesn't match Jesus' message at all. He's obviously not a religious priest, pointing out how Italians were surveyed about who they pray to when they have problems and Jesus was number six on the list. "Talk about your cafeteria Catholics," he says. Who knows what he really believes, but he did engage Bill Maher, which is more than any other representative so far (aside from Father Coyne, I guess).
Eek! Ben Folds! Oh, bad memory music. Why, Bill, why?! Yeah, so it's fitting, but still! Bad memories. Kind of funny that the Ben Folds song Jesusland reminds me of a time when I got trampled by a nominal, evil "Christian". Go figure.
Time for the Jesus funland part or whatever that theme park is. I don't know how people can dress up as Jesus and be ok with that. I'd be so afraid of my every move.
Why doesn't God obliterate the Devil and evil? Maher asks the fake Jesus.
Good question. Christians like to make up a lot of answers for that one. I haven't really liked any of them enough to stick with me so far (the answers, I mean, not the Christians who make them up).
Bill: What was the Holocaust? Why was that good?
Jesus actor: God has a plan for that. Maybe it's to-
Bill: I wonder if you'd feel that way if you were one of the people being pushed into an oven.
JA: It's like explaining to an ant how a tv works. God's ways are so much higher than ours.
If God is good and the Holocaust was obviously inexplicably, disgustingly evil, why would we assume that that's God's work? What if we do have responsibility for ourselves and our actions in this world? What if our evil, our selfishness, our greed and so on and so on are not Godly? What if our wars that we wage against ourselves, whether we claim them to be in God's name or not, are our wars and only our wars? What if, like a kid who has to learn things the hard way, we learn things the hard way on a proportionately massive scale of brutality? Evil done in the name of God is still evil and if God is not evil, it (evil) is not God, it's not about God and it's not for God.
Maher totally makes fun of the Jesus actor guy for relating the Trinity to water, as in water can have three forms- water, ice and steam. I think that bit got to him a little. You can see it in his face as the pretend Jesus is explaining it. It's kinda funny. He's so awkward and obviously blown away by the explanation. So of course, he has to totally bash it in the car afterward. :D He did say it was brilliant though right before bashing it, you know, to keep himself seemingly humble. It was fun to see the actor Jesus say something so worthwhile that didn't get edited out though. I wonder why it didn't.
We're then presented with the story of Horus from the Book of the Dead written in 1280BC, whose life is identical to Jesus', right down to the resurrection on the third day. Of course, I didn't know that story (hey, newbie... I'm still learning here...) so I looked it up and found this bright yellow thingy. Dunno if it's accurate or not, but it does have a link at the bottom to the Book of the Dead. But I'll read it more later. This movie is taking way longer to watch than I intended. :D
Yeah, so the tourist people taking pics of the bloody Jesus is a little weird.
Cut to crazy folks, including dressed up scientologist, Bill Maher. :D
Now onto Mormons. Um... No comment on that. Hoooo.
Gotta get me some of them protective undies... Um.
Neurotheologist guy Dr Newberg says when we pray, meditate or speak in tongues (wtf), there are specific changes that occur in the brain. And then they show a crazy lady and that farting preacher (youtube) guy (who, I'm sorry, needs a fierce beating).
Rabbi guy who is anti-Zion totally takes over the conversation. Very pushy. Maher leaves. I wonder if he'll interview a real, normal Jew later [not really].
Rabbi Strauss explains Sabbath.
Bill: It does seem that you are, to a degree, trying to outsmart God.
Rabbi: If the lawmaker never makes a mistake and still there's a loophole there, why is that loophole there? To be used in a situation of need.
subtitle: Because the people who wrote the Bible fucked up?
hehe, that's so not Christian as far as I know. :D Not the swearing, I mean how squeezing through loopholes is a heart issue if I ever heard one. :D
Back to the neurotheologist to say anybody who has heard the voice of God is crazy- if people who hear voices are crazy.
Oh, no, bring on the crazy evangelists... I hope Matt Chandler doesn't watch this part. Chapter 12 on the DVD. Don't watch it, Chandler!
The guy says he's Jesus. And doesn't believe in hell or sin. Oh, dear. That guy's gonna get some wrath... Look out!
Maher asks why God, all-powerful God, chooses one person to convey His message rather than just telling everybody. Dunno. Good question. Probably because of the whole seeking thing. Kinda like how when a good-looking person adores you suddenly, you question their sanity. We like the hunt. We like to believe we're in control and act independently.
He goes on to say he wasn't born skeptical and that he used to make deals with God all the time and was glad he had "God" in his life. (His finger quotes not mine.) Um. Is that belief in God? Or is that wishful thinking? "If you give me this, I'll believe in you." It's our way of controlling God and surprisingly, it doesn't work. Go figure.
Reverend Ferre van Beveren of the cannibis ministry says his ministry is not based on weed but uses weed to open up the spirit or something?
Onto a filmmaker who was assassinated for making a film which was considered offensive by Muslims. And a rapper-type guy who seems to be a bit of a know-it-all which clashes, obviously, with know-it-all Bill Maher...
Then Geert Wilders, Dutch parliament member, discusses Muslims... Um. Scary dude. You know those guys who think they're right, but are really bigots? That.
And then onto the two gay Muslim guys, who Bill makes awkward and uncomfortable in about thirty seconds (he brings up anal, like, right away).
Back to the weed guy for a joke...
Not sure what the fast jumping around is about. I guess his beef is more with Christianity and free speech than Islam? He can't seem to focus in this slicey part of the movie.
Now he's wearing a white hat in a mosque in Amsterdam, asking about the violence in Islam.
Back to the weed guy for more laughs.
And then onto the mosque built on top of Solomon's temple (I think?) where Jews are forbidden entry. That part was actually interesting. A little history and culture clashing that I didn't know about.
He makes an analogy relating religion to how the English maintain a sort of crop circle of a naked dude on a hill even though they don't know what it means and then jumps back to Christians talking about the end of the world. He believes that religion's prophesies about the end of the world might ultimately cause the end of the world.
His ending thoughts:
"Religion must die in order for people to live."
"Faith means making a virtue out of not thinking. It's nothing to brag about. And those who preach faith and enable and elevate it are our intellectual slaveholders keeping mankind in a bondage to fantasy and nonsense that has spawned and justified so much lunacy and destruction. Religion is dangerous because it allows humans who don't have all the answers to think that they do.
[...]
The only appropriate attitude for man to have about the big questions is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion but doubt. Doubt is humble and that's what man needs to be considering that human history is a litany of getting shit dead wrong.
[...]
This is why rationalist people, anti-religionists, must end their timidity and come out of the closet and assert themselves."
Ok. First, Bill Maher has to read Tim Keller's writings on faith, because imo, he's asking us to have faith in doubt instead of religion. Faith is faith. Faith answers our questions about the unknown, he says, which is what makes it easy. But saying, "I'm ok with not knowing the answers," is an equally faith-based assertion that also is a conclusion about the unknown. It may not seem that way, but as an agnostic, I felt far, far more certain about the world than I do now as a Christian. Things were more certain because I made them so. I was far more in control of my life, my destiny and everything else could be explained away by nature's chaos, by life being unfair, or by life itself.
When you're agnostic, people get cancer because that's just how life is. Our DNA messes up somehow, either because of our lifestyle, chemical exposure, radiation exposure, etc, and we grow tumors instead of "natural" human flesh. As an agnostic, I did not believe that we grew tumors to show us something about ourselves, about the world, about faith and about love. Tumors were just glitches in biological processes. Nothing more.
As an agnostic, the world was here for my viewing pleasure. Mountains towering above me, the ocean crashing at my feet, the stars flickering all around me- all of it was just kind of accidental and beautiful. It was nature. It was part of this chaotic universe we live in. Chaotic in spite of its necessary constants all lining up to allow life to form. It wasn't meant to stir up a feeling of eternity in my soul. It wasn't meant to ignite a passion and deep desire for the eternal and infinite. It wasn't meant to point out the place deep inside me where the innate sense of purpose and meaning lay trapped in a shroud of cynicism and independence.
Agnosticism, as I've said before in the blog, was far, far easier than Christianity.
And I think Bill Maher's little eternal place deep in his soul knows that. While he mocked the virgin birth, how His teen years weren't recorded and maybe a little of the walking on water, he didn't mock Jesus' teachings. If anything, he mocked religions abuse and lack of Christianity. He put down Christianity often for not following Jesus, but he never, as far as I saw, took a jab at Jesus Himself. It makes me wonder what would happen if Bill Maher sat down with a gospel-centered, anti-religion Christian, like, say, Matt Chandler or Tim Keller or Tyler Jones. It makes me wonder if he, like me, was exposed to the "Just Jesus" type of faith, what would happen?
Jesus has a radical way of moving through people's lives no matter how atheist or agnostic they are. As Tyler Jones used to say, Jesus is other. He's different in ways you can't even describe. And somehow, I really think that deep down, Bill Maher knows that, but isn't brave enough to explore it. Imagine if he found Jesus at this point?
He'd be, like, the next Paul. It'd totally ruin his life...
(For the better...)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Being at home in Sehnsucht...
When we were young, we lived in the mountains and had no neighbors across the street. It was just a swamp that led to a forested hill. Every year at Christmas, we'd grab a saw and head up into the woods across the street and cut down the biggest tree we could find. Totally barbaric in hindsight, but being that we were little, the biggest one was probably not all that big... Well, except the time we needed a sixteen foot ladder to put the star on top...
But I digress.
Christmases were always filled with anticipation. We always got crap gifts and had a crap time, but every year, it was the same: we expected a "Griswold Family Christmas", even though, not only was our family way too bitter, judgmental and greedy to ever actually be a postcard family, but the postcard we were wishing for was equally dysfunctional.
Anyway, that feeling we anticipated that never came was home. Our family was such a mess and somehow, I guess the three of us just expected everything to stop for that one day so we could just be that kind of family that sits beside the fire and eats Christmas desserts and laughs about memories. Instead, it would end up in fearful slavery, trying to put our best fake family face on in hopes we wouldn't set off my dad's temper later. Instead of having the family Christmas, we had to work like crazy to give off the illusion of having one.
But every year, as Christmas got closer, my brothers and I would find ourselves hoping for the same thing again.
And no, Christmas wasn't about Jesus. We didn't believe in God, so Christmas was just about this one thing, this feeling of home thing.
Page 92 of Tim Keller's "The Prodigal God" describes exactly that:
(I hope I don't get into trouble for such a long quote... You should read the book. It's little and full of awesome, so there's no excuse not to... Just sayin'.)
He goes on to quote C.S. Lewis who says that this homesickness is "no mere neurotic fancy, but the truest index of our real situation."
Tim Keller then asks, "Why would 'home' be so powerful and yet so elusive for us?"
Biblically, our home was the Garden of Eden. We were meant to be home with God. We were meant to live with Him. But we chose independence over God and somehow find ourselves coincidentally with this constant longing for home.
You grow up in a house and sometimes you get whiffs of home but as you grow older and experience the world more, the strongest memories of home can never be met in the present. You can go back to that childhood dwelling, but somehow, it's different. Somehow, it really doesn't live up to your expectations.
The town I grew up in was a resort town, and within five years of us moving out of there and into the city, the town boomed. Three shopping malls sprouted and endless condo developments scattered the once forested landscape. A few years ago, I brought my ex there to show him where I grew up and after taking the road I'd biked my entire childhood, everything had become so different that I thought I'd taken a wrong turn. Housing developments were everywhere. When I was young, there were a few houses here and there, and the rest of the road was lined with trees, but this road was the opposite. I felt like I had never been there before.
The house my parents built is now a different color. They replaced the wooden exterior with vinyl siding. They rearranged the landscaping that my dad had done by hand. To flatten out the lawn, he used to make us sit on a metal ladder and drag the ladder across the lawn like a workhorse. It was the best ride ever. :D Now, it's a massive, paved driveway.
But no matter how clear the memories are, that home is unattainable. And in the moment, those moments I now look upon with a nostalgic feeling of home, it wasn't actually there either.
Every time I went to Banff, it was the closest I'd ever come to feeling at home in the present. The moon bluing the snow on the mountains. The overwhelming wildlife. The turquoise lakes. Nature at its most awesome. That felt like home to me.
Why is that home and the place where I grew up not?
If Tim Keller and C.S. Lewis are right, and God is our home, then it makes sense that wherever we're closest to the infinite and closest to real unconditional love and closest to a united soul, we will be closest to home. In the awe of nature, the love of family and the bonding that we expect to occur at Christmas, we are as close to home as we can get here on earth. But we just can't get there entirely.
I find it funny that after all these years of feeling this longing of home at Christmas, never once did it occur to me that maybe there was a deeper reason for it. Maybe our soul feels something around Christmas time that we feel the need to explain away in human terms. Maybe our soul knows something we don't. Maybe our soul is trying to say something.
And maybe if we start to listen, we might feel closer to home a little more often.
But I digress.
Christmases were always filled with anticipation. We always got crap gifts and had a crap time, but every year, it was the same: we expected a "Griswold Family Christmas", even though, not only was our family way too bitter, judgmental and greedy to ever actually be a postcard family, but the postcard we were wishing for was equally dysfunctional.
Anyway, that feeling we anticipated that never came was home. Our family was such a mess and somehow, I guess the three of us just expected everything to stop for that one day so we could just be that kind of family that sits beside the fire and eats Christmas desserts and laughs about memories. Instead, it would end up in fearful slavery, trying to put our best fake family face on in hopes we wouldn't set off my dad's temper later. Instead of having the family Christmas, we had to work like crazy to give off the illusion of having one.
But every year, as Christmas got closer, my brothers and I would find ourselves hoping for the same thing again.
And no, Christmas wasn't about Jesus. We didn't believe in God, so Christmas was just about this one thing, this feeling of home thing.
Page 92 of Tim Keller's "The Prodigal God" describes exactly that:
The memory of home seems to be evoked by certain sights, sounds and even smells. But they can only arouse a desire they can't fulfill. Many of the people in my church have shared with me how disappointing Christmas and Thanksgiving are to them. They prepare for holidays hoping that, finally, this year, the gathering of family at that important place will deliver the experience of warmth, joy, comfort, and love that they want from it. But these events almost always fail, crushed under the weight of our impossible expectations.
There is a German word that gets at this concept- the word Sehnsucht. Dictionaries will tell you that there is no simple English synonym. It denotes profound homesickness or longing, but with transcendent overtones.
(I hope I don't get into trouble for such a long quote... You should read the book. It's little and full of awesome, so there's no excuse not to... Just sayin'.)
He goes on to quote C.S. Lewis who says that this homesickness is "no mere neurotic fancy, but the truest index of our real situation."
Tim Keller then asks, "Why would 'home' be so powerful and yet so elusive for us?"
Biblically, our home was the Garden of Eden. We were meant to be home with God. We were meant to live with Him. But we chose independence over God and somehow find ourselves coincidentally with this constant longing for home.
You grow up in a house and sometimes you get whiffs of home but as you grow older and experience the world more, the strongest memories of home can never be met in the present. You can go back to that childhood dwelling, but somehow, it's different. Somehow, it really doesn't live up to your expectations.
The town I grew up in was a resort town, and within five years of us moving out of there and into the city, the town boomed. Three shopping malls sprouted and endless condo developments scattered the once forested landscape. A few years ago, I brought my ex there to show him where I grew up and after taking the road I'd biked my entire childhood, everything had become so different that I thought I'd taken a wrong turn. Housing developments were everywhere. When I was young, there were a few houses here and there, and the rest of the road was lined with trees, but this road was the opposite. I felt like I had never been there before.
The house my parents built is now a different color. They replaced the wooden exterior with vinyl siding. They rearranged the landscaping that my dad had done by hand. To flatten out the lawn, he used to make us sit on a metal ladder and drag the ladder across the lawn like a workhorse. It was the best ride ever. :D Now, it's a massive, paved driveway.
But no matter how clear the memories are, that home is unattainable. And in the moment, those moments I now look upon with a nostalgic feeling of home, it wasn't actually there either.
Every time I went to Banff, it was the closest I'd ever come to feeling at home in the present. The moon bluing the snow on the mountains. The overwhelming wildlife. The turquoise lakes. Nature at its most awesome. That felt like home to me.
Why is that home and the place where I grew up not?
If Tim Keller and C.S. Lewis are right, and God is our home, then it makes sense that wherever we're closest to the infinite and closest to real unconditional love and closest to a united soul, we will be closest to home. In the awe of nature, the love of family and the bonding that we expect to occur at Christmas, we are as close to home as we can get here on earth. But we just can't get there entirely.
I find it funny that after all these years of feeling this longing of home at Christmas, never once did it occur to me that maybe there was a deeper reason for it. Maybe our soul feels something around Christmas time that we feel the need to explain away in human terms. Maybe our soul knows something we don't. Maybe our soul is trying to say something.
And maybe if we start to listen, we might feel closer to home a little more often.
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