Tuesday, August 11, 2009

On access to abortion...

Whether or not you think abortion is murder, whether or not you think it's a sin, whether or not you think it's up to the woman to choose- that is not my issue today. My issue is women's safety. If you eliminate abortion or make access to it more difficult, the result will most likely not be fewer abortions, rather more self-abortions, and that was the basis for the change in the laws in Canada to legalize abortion in the first place.

Today, on the news, I heard that the Quebec government passed a law saying that abortions can only be performed in sterile operating rooms. Up until now, they'd been performed mostly in private clinics with sterile equipment but not necessarily a completely sterile environment. The risks associated with the not perfectly sterile environment are so low, apparently. But what this law means is that these clinics will be forced to shut down and women will end up waiting for ORs at hospitals or CLSCs (clinics run by the provincial government directly), which will not only create more of a backlog for the ORs, but also will increase wait times and decrease accessibility to abortion "services".

Some doctors are saying that this law is just an underhanded way of limiting abortion after repeated failures to do so through the court system.

Whatever way you slice it, it's not good.

Some people reading this will probably say it's unChristian of me to write about how abortion clinics are "good" or whatever, but I really don't see it that way.

Abortions are not the problem here. They're a symptom. It's kind of like saying we should ban rehab clinics because they cause drug use. The behavior that results in seeking an abortion is what is wrong here. And I don't mean wrong as in morally or ethically- I'm not stating an opinion on that in this particular post. I mean wrong as in broken.

Here in Quebec, as far as I know, girls can have abortions as young as fourteen without their parents ever finding out. And because of our universal health care, they're free. We can also go to the pharmacy and get the morning after pill without a prescription. Do these two facts increase irresponsible sexual behavior in young girls?

I'm going to go with no.

Why?

They're already having tons of irresponsible sex anyway. That aspect of this particular society has been broken for a long time now.

Look around. Here in Quebec- I won't speak for other places, only what I know and where I grew up- women are not respected. I don't know what the statistics are, but it seems women outnumber men, and the mentality becomes if you don't treat your man a certain way, he'll get rid of you for the next one. Relatively few people get married here, as there is an overwhelming number of couples cohabiting (30% of couples in Quebec are common-law), most under the false impression that they are subject to the same rights as married couples.

(By the way, for any Quebec common-law ladies who are reading this, if you break up, you get nothing unless it has your name on it. Be warned. You are not married in the eyes of the law, even if you pay taxes as though you are. But I digress...)

My point is, with parents splitting up (Quebec's divorce rate is far higher than that of the rest of Canada according to Stats Canada, says the Vanier Institute of the Family), dads (for the most part) not playing a constant positive role in a girl's development, and the girl not being taught to respect herself or to respect her worth by both parents, we end up with this problem we have today, where 30,000 Quebecers get abortions every year. If the population here in Quebec is 50% women, that's nearly 8 women for every 1000 that get abortions every year.

There is also a lack of respect for sex and the consequences of it here too. When I was growing up, abstinence was not an option. The only time abstinence was ever talked about was when ridiculing the idea of it. I was taught that sex wasn't a big deal and there was no reason to value it other than for pleasure and fun. I didn't value my body. I never thought I was losing a piece of myself every time I gave my body away. I never thought sex was a spiritual endeavor. I never thought it affected my soul.

Growing up in a Godless atmosphere meant my eternal self was never emphasized. In that frame of mind, things that happen right now are all we have and are all that is worth our time, our effort and our drive. There are no eternal consequences and while there may be some potential damage to the body, there's no damage to the soul. Emotional and physical hurts can, for the most part, be healed with time and those that can't can be dealt with, coped with and moved on from regardless.

The problem with that view is this thing from which we view the world, our conscience and internal voice, our thinker, often seems to be independent from our physical body. It seems to come from within but also from eternity. It's the eternal "why me" thing again- Why was I born into this perception of the world? Why was I born as a human in this time and place? Why do I have these particular skills and talents and not others?

Why are we all so drawn to oceans, mountains, deserts, and space? Why are we so drawn to the seemingly infinite things we have access to here on Earth? Is it because our soul longs for it? Maybe it's because our soul is crying out from within us trying to tell us, "Hey, that's me. I'm infinite too."

Whatever it is, it's easy, especially as a child, to get wrapped up in temporary things and abandon our future here on Earth, not to mention the forever future, if there really is one. Without spiritual guidance, we become so inwardly focused that we lose sight of what's important, of what's around us and of ourselves. Our world revolves around us to the point where we trample and crush other people or creatures to get where we want to be. But when we do get there, it's not nearly as rewarding as we had anticipated and the end result is a relentless search for the next idol- be it relationship, sex, toys, money, fame, whatever- that will satisfy our soul temporarily and superficially.

When I was growing up, temporary things were all things. They were the goal and the measure of success.

Today, on my way home from work, I was listening to a sermon wherein the pastor (Matt Chandler of The Village in Dallas, Tx, (Dec 07, 2008, Temptations from Within)) says:
The book of Proverbs says there’s a type of woman that men should avoid. She is sensual, she is overtly sexual and in the end she wants to devour or destroy the man. Which means she doesn’t really have any interest in the man; she just wants to see for her own gratification if she’s pretty enough, beautiful enough and skillful enough to make him choose her over his wife. She has no love for him; she simply wants to destroy him. The Bible says such a woman exists. The Bible says that there’s a type of man that women should avoid who is flirtatious, who is gifted at spotting weak-willed women and taking advantage of them.


(Disclaimer: the views expressed in the blog so far and from here on are just mine, not those of the Village or any pastor affiliated with the Village or any other church. Ok? Ok.)

That was the kind of woman I was raised to aspire to be. And that is what the men around me were raised to aspire to be also. In my case, it was an empowerment. It was marketed to me as a new kind of feminism. I didn't realize that the feelings of empowerment were blocking out feelings of insecurity and an overwhelming core truth I had held that I was unlovable. The empowerment temporarily satisfied this deep down feeling that I wasn't worth more than one night or a couple of nights, that while I won the guy over, anything beyond superficiality and lusty, physical, detached sex was not something I deserved nor was I good enough to get. The core of me "knew" that once a person really got to know me, they wouldn't want me anymore, but the fact that I'd gotten them already, that even though my person was so unlovable, I'd still succeeded at getting them to give me their all physically, raised me up for a short period of time. Of course, I didn't go after married men, but in the Christian sense, technically sleeping with anybody other than your spouse is adultery; therefore, from a Christian point of view, I was no better even if they were single.

Anyway, my point is growing up in a place that was not only Godless but also lacked any sense of eternity, the consequences of my actions we're only relevant in the short term. Having sex and/or getting an abortion under these pretenses becomes a temporary thing. While most of the media stories about girls who've had abortions center around girls who regret it and are all teary-eyed about it, many of the girls I know who have had abortions don't seem feel anything about it. I don't know if they repress it, justify it or if they really don't feel any remorse whatsoever, but it doesn't seem to trouble them in the years afterward. What does trouble them, however, are the unexpected immediate consequences. Apparently, and I say "apparently" because I'm only going by the anecdotes of several girls I know who have had abortions, because of the sudden, unexpected loss of the zygote or fetus, sometimes the body compensates by producing a tumor. At least three of the girls I've talked to had that experience, and that was troubling to them. Again, the immediate effects draw attention but not the long term effects on the person or potential eternal effects on the soul.

Of course, there are probably hundreds of other factors as to why these particular girls get abortions, but that's what I'm trying to get at- there are reasons. There are deep-rooted beliefs and principles that for some reason are skewed to the point where women are not valuing their own body, not seeking the respect and commitment they are meant to have, and not understanding the potential consequences for their actions.

One thing is certain though, when a girl gets to the point of deciding on an abortion, we should do our utmost to keep her safe and that includes access to proper medical care. As Christians, even if she has committed what you deem to be a sin, she is a child of God. If we miss the opportunity to guide her in a more healthy direction from the start, we still have to forgive her and love her and guide her to repentance through that love. Through hate and fear-mongering, we drive people away.

What about the fetus' rights? There's only so much you can do. You can try to counsel the woman involved or earlier on, try to lift your daughters up and raise them to be godly and respectful of themselves in hopes that they might not end up in a situation where abortion is an option. You can. But at a certain point, it might be too late, and to me, that's when you have to trust God. Trust Him to take care of the soul that never stood a chance. Trust Him to have His reasons for allowing this to happen.

I know that sounds terrible, but you can't control everything. You can do what is in your power, but at a certain point, you have to give stuff up to God rather than starting to spread hate.

I've been told that my mom considered aborting me. I was conceived too close to my brother and they weren't sure if it was safe. You would think that from that perspective, I'd be all anti-abortion. But I'm not. I was born anyway and spent around twenty-eight years hating God. If I had a part in His plan, whether my mom would have killed me or not, that part would play out. I believe God would have either kept my soul or distributed it into another body.

And one thing I don't get is this whole sanctity of life thing. John 12:24-25 says this:
24 Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. 25 Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life.

Can somebody enlighten me as to where the sanctity of life thing is in the Bible? I haven't hit that part yet. The parts I seem to hit are the "to die is gain" parts (Philippians 1:21). Can anybody point me to a couple or a few?

I guess the conclusion I draw from this all is that we all have to trust God more. Trust God to take care of us, trust God to love us. Trust God that through being His children alone we have self-worth. Trust God that He really does want us to love one another as Jesus loved us. Trust God about the important role that marriage plays and that parental influence plays in our own life and our kids' lives. Trust only God to fulfill us. Basically, trust God in everything.

If we did that, maybe we wouldn't have this idolatry issue, the hate issue, the pride issue, and so on and so on.

If we did that, maybe we might understand what it's all about and actually follow through with what God is asking of us. And if we truly followed through and lived out the Gospel, we might actually be Christian.

In the meantime, maybe we should pray that God change hearts, including our own. Maybe we should pray that God guide these women, and pray that if we are the means through which He intends to guide them, He might give us the right words, the most effective words and the most gospel-centered words with which to move them.

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