On marriage vs family.

I'm angry at the world at the moment. I read on my favorite gay blogger's blog about how a family consisting of two women parents and three adopted children were refused a "family pass" at an Idaho resort because they weren't a "real family".

I understand how Christians tend to see marriage as between a man and a woman. I get that. I don't agree, but I get it. But this? This brings into question what is a family and that is what burns my heart at the moment.

Would a family pass have been granted to a "family" consisting of:
- a man who beats his wife and children?
- a man or woman who molests his or her children?
- a man and woman who sleep in separate bedrooms and fight all the time?
- a man who cheats on his wife every chance he gets?
- a woman who cheats on her husband every chance she gets?
- a single mom with three kids?
- a single dad with three kids?
- a person in their late teens who is raising his/her siblings alone?

Seriously, what is a family?

I grew up with a single dad. My mom left when I was two. The amount of discrimination, gossip and just general stereotyping my dad faced simply because he stepped up and stayed was disgusting. The society I grew up in frowned upon a man raising kids alone.

Obviously, it's not the ideal situation. None of the situations I listed are. But come on, there are differences. Very, very distinct differences.

Heterosexuals are making a mockery of marriage. You can't say marriage between a man and a woman is sacred when you are on your third. You can't say marriage is sacred when fifty per cent of Christians are divorcing. You can't say marriage is sacred when so, so many are committing adultery.

How many times is adultery in the Bible? How many? How many times is divorce in the Bible? And how many times is homosexuality in the Bible?

I was listening to the talks at Advance 09 again and I got to Mark Driscoll's talk on idolatry. In it, he reads the part of Romans which is the "only clear refutation of lesbianism in the Bible". That may or may not be a direct quote because I'm only shooting this from memory, but either way, those aren't my words. The ONLY. ONE time. ONE time in the Bible is lesbianism refuted. That should tell you something. Why are entire sermons, entire talks, entire congregations even, only about homosexuality? Seriously! If there was ever an issue that was secondary or tertiary or even less important than that, it's homosexuality.

Why isn't it a commandment?

If it was THAT important, God would have told Moses. Jesus would have told his disciples. The words would have come from Jesus' mouth if it was that crucial to your salvation.

But no, the commandment that Jesus declared was to love one another. So come on already! Would you all quit with the hate?

Yes, homosexuals are scary for you. Yes, you're afraid they're some kind of demon. You're afraid they're going to convert you to their "religion", even though you're not at all attracted to your own sex. Yes, they are sinners- just like you.

"Have they repented?" you ask.

Have you?

Are they a family?

Is yours?

What kind of family are you a part of? What are you doing to love and help strengthen the families around you? What are you doing as a Christian to help prevent this 50% divorce rate among your brethren? Seriously! Start there! Quit making a mockery of marriage yourselves!

I'm so angry.

I know, I know that there was intolerance to my dad and that is why I'm so angry. We weren't a "real family" and we kids felt that- not from my dad, not while we were at home, but when we were in the presence of others who constantly told us we were lacking something. Why? Why would you do that to a kid?

This family in Idaho had that happen. The park people told the kids they weren't a real family. Do you understand how damaging that is to a child? And you think you're in it for their welfare? Bull.

And I know the angry Christians among you will say, "It's nowhere near as damaging as having lesbian parents." That's just not true. I urge you to put aside your fears and find out. If it was possible and not at all stalkery, I'd ask you to shadow a family, but really, that's what it would take.

What makes a family? Love. Support. Honesty. Discipline. Selflessness.

And you know what? You can bet that the lesbian women are doing a helluva lot better than most people simply because the pressure's on. Everybody's watching. Everything they do is scrutinized. Nobody has more checks to keep them in line than a gay couple raising kids. Nobody. So what are you so afraid of?

I've heard parts of sermons where the pastor says, "Get out there. Befriend non-believers. Don't just hide in your Christian bubble," but that applies to homosexuals too. By blocking yourself off, you're not only not spreading the Gospel the way Jesus intended, but you're also feeding your fears and stereotypes. Don't do it. Don't judge your brothers and sisters so harshly. Don't do it.

But you repent, you say. They don't. First of all, what difference does that make if you keep on doing what you're doing? And secondly, how do you know they don't repent? How do you know they haven't prayed to God to make them "normal" and lift this burden off their shoulders?

But maybe that's why they're gay. Maybe they're meant to show you where your faith ends and your religion begins. Maybe they're here, sharing the world with you to make you understand how imperfect and selective your love is. Maybe they're here to show you what God's love really looks like.

Think about it. And if this post stirs up anger deep in your heart, is that godly? Is that really the heart that you share Jesus with?