Resurgence of the Local Church.

There's a conference on right now in North Carolina, and if I had had the means, I so would have wanted to be there. It's called Advance 09 and it's a gathering of some pretty crazy successful pastors who are there to preach about the resurgence of the local church.

Last night, they posted the talks from Day 1, posted here, and so far, I've listened to Mark Driscoll's talk on "What is the church?" and about half of Tyler Jones' talk on the resurgence.

I have to say, after listening to Mark Driscoll's talk, I rebelled hard inside. The church as he defined it is too hard. It's too much work. It's too much commitment. It's just too much. I'm a lazy girl. I love learning about Christianity and growing in Jesus, but am I prepared to give up everything? Am I prepared to give up my time and energy to serve in such an extreme way?

As Pastor Driscoll explained what the church should be, immediately, I felt inadequate and my first reaction to that inadequacy was to run away from it. "This is too fundamental for me," I thought. "There's more to life than church," I also thought. I've had bad enough experiences with the church that the thought of devoting my life to the church itself is nearly impossible for me to fathom.

And then Tyler Jones' talk started. After listening to Tyler's sermons for probably a year now, I've come to know that he always expresses his love for his wife in the most awesome and beautiful way. She has to be the luckiest woman alive. If Oprah would ever have him on her show and he talked about his wife, he'd instantly have the millions of ladies watching craving that kind of love and beginning to refuse to settle for anything less than a truly godly man. It's a really powerful and moving thing to hear, especially for a girl with a broken past who isn't sure if men actually have even the ability to love.

But he gets up there, and he starts describing what his bride meant to him, how she was holy, whole and beautiful and how he cherished her with all his being. It was unbelievably moving. And then he throws in how the church is Jesus' bride. It makes it hard to rebel against the church. It makes it hard to hang onto the deep-seeded resentment and condescension towards what the church has become when such a clear picture of what it should be is laid out in front of you. The church is supposed to be a beautiful thing. A holy thing.

And so my problem really isn't the church itself, but the way it has gotten off track, the way the bride of Jesus has forgotten Jesus. And by not standing up for Jesus and not being a part of the solution, I've forgotten Jesus too.

But I have no idea where to start to fix it. I really have no idea. I mean, I still haven't even found a church here. Honestly, I spend a lot of time every week on Jesus. I listen to so many sermons, I read my Bible often and I suffocate myself with books pertaining to religion in a variety of forms (albeit, slowly because I'm not the fastest reader...) and I think that's enough. I think I devote enough time to Jesus and that self-righteous perspective makes it difficult to get motivated to do any more, especially when the next step is to get other people involved. Sure, I talk about Jesus with anybody who has an open ear for Him (and sometimes, I slip Him in when they don't), and I do try to spread Jesus that way, but I lack the community aspect of it- the social responsibility.

I have to work on that...

Another excuse I give is my dogs. I can't just get up and go on a mission or something because I am committed to my dogs. I promised them a lifetime, and I intend to provide that for them for however long they bless me with their heartbeat. Some might say, "They're just dogs," but they're lives. They're flesh and thought and feeling, just as I am. They're God's children too and with so many dogs suffering in our society, making a commitment to take care of these two is the least I can do, especially considering all that dogs have done for me in my own lifetime. God put dogs in my life from Day 1 for a reason, and in my mind, loving them and cherishing them and fighting for their rights and welfare is part of worshiping that which God has provided for me in order that I might survive. They're His creation and they are a gift to me.

The last excuse [for the purpose of this post :D] is this blog. Part of the reason I started this blog was to minister, in a way. Through spiritual discussions with friends, I've been told I have a knack for explaining Jesusy things in such a way that non-believers have a clearer picture of what Jesus was about and believers, through my different perspective as a new believer, understand Jesus in a more profound way. I have a passion for it, and somehow, God has also given me the gift of the gab and a talent for writing, so it was only a matter of time before all three combined.

It's taken me a while to figure this out, and I have so many drafts started and so many ideas scribbled down on the back of receipts for future posts. Even if an online form of worship goes against what I took from Mark Driscoll's idea of a real church (and maybe Jesus' too, but I hope not), I want to open the non-believing people who stumble upon this blog up to all things Jesusy in such a way that they don't rebel harshly against it. I want to provide a fresh, somewhat educated perspective that hopefully will encourage people who come here to seek a relationship with God by starting at a personal level rather than starting from religion, where they clearly have an emotional block.

I'm not perfect and I'm not even that knowledgeable (not at all, actually) and consequently, I have so much back up research to do before I finish my drafts, but I hope that I can convey what I'm learning along with the passion as I learn it and in the process, worship God, bring people closer to Jesus and use the strength acquired from being open about God on the internet to step out of my comfort zone and help build a community outside the internet.

That's the plan.

Or maybe it's just an elaborate set of excuses to not get involved immediately.

Either way, I'm still learning and still growing.